this is very personal space I use to express all my emotions into a bottomless abyss of the internet
many of this emotions are dark and I don't want them to affect other people
I will also mention a lot triggering subjects that are troubling me in my everyday life
if you think this content might affect you - don't read it.
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tw I swear too much (you cant really read it idc thats not the point)
03.07.2022 22:16 (poland time idk)
two days ago I turned 19 it is a really strange feeling knowing that another year of my life has passed and I've done absolutely fucking nothing it's not like I'm complaining I know I have a lot of time to do something with myself but I am afraid that the time is what's stopping me from making any progress in life and although NEET aesthetic looks really funny I don't want to sit and rot in my room complaining about every I experience . It's not like I want to do something with my life now all I want is to finish my drivers licence (because it's slowly fucking killing me and if I'll spent another month or two in fucking toyota yaris lesson car I'll fucking drive into a wall), find a job and overwork myself there, get a paycheck tell them to fuck off and spent all the money on hrt because that;s the only goal I've set for myself. on the closest sunday I want to come out to my mom and maybe dad about my identity we'll see how it goes I hope I'll fucking get through it and they'll tell me I don't have to work for my hrt and then I will accept it and fucking become a neet for a 2 months period without school. yeah
I'm extremely bitter and even I can see it (normally I'm unaware of this state) which saddens me but life's a bitch and you've got to move on
(is this from some cringy tv series if it is I'm extremely angry) anyway have a good day : - )